FRANCISCO JOSÉ IBÁÑEZ GARCÍA – (I know it is not a selfie, but I am still recognisible.)
| I take it you already know | aɪ teɪk ɪt jʊ ɔːlˈrɛdi nəʊ |
| Of tough and bough and cough and dough? | əv tʌf ənd baʊ ənd kɒf ənd dəʊ? |
| Others may stumble but not you | ˈʌðəz meɪ ˈstʌmbl bət nɒt juː |
| On hiccough, thorough, slough and through. | ɒn ˈhɪkʌp, ˈθʌrə, slaʊ ənd θruː. |
| Well done! And now you wish perhaps, | wɛl dʌn! ənd naʊ jʊ wɪʃ pəˈhæps, |
| To learn of less familiar traps? | tə lɜːn əv lɛs fəˈmɪliə træps? |
| Beware of heard, a dreadful word | bɪˈweər əv hɜːd, ə ˈdrɛdfʊl wɜːd |
| That looks like beard and sounds like bird. | ðæt lʊks laɪk bɪəd ənd saʊndz laɪk bɜːd. |
| And dead, is said like bed, not bead – | ənd dɛd, ɪz sɛd laɪk bɛd, nɒt biːd – |
| for goodness’ sake don’t call it ‘deed’! | fə ˈgʊdnɪs seɪk dəʊnt kɔːl ɪt diːd! |
| Watch out for meat and great and threat | wɒʧ aʊt fə miːt ənd greɪt ənd θrɛt |
| (they rhyme with suite and straight and debt). | (ðeɪ raɪm wɪð swiːt ənd streɪt ənd dɛt). |
| A moth is not a moth in mother, | ə mɒθ s nɒt ə mɒθ ɪn ˈmʌðə, |
| Nor both in bother, or broth in brother, | nɔː bəʊθ ɪn ˈbɒðə, ɔː brɒθ ɪn ˈbrʌðə, |
| And here is not a match for there, | ənd hɪə z nɒt ə mæʧ fə ðeə, |
| Nor dear and fear for bear and pear, | nɔː dɪər ənd fɪə fə beər ənd peə, |
| And then there’s doze and rose and lose – | ənd ðɛn ðəz dəʊz ənd rəʊz ənd luːz – |
| Just look them up – and goose and choose. | ʤəst lʊk ðəm ʌp – ənd guːs ənd ʧuːz. |